Saturday, January 30, 2010

The view from here.

Have I mentioned that I don't like all. I like to go out and get pretty pictures but other than that..I'd prefer to live in a snow free state.

I didn't get to go out and get pretty pictures today..the wind was crazy and it was gray and ugly out. Our parking lot was being scraped by a guy with a 4 wheeler and yes I have pictures to prove that if anyone wants to see proof. Here are a few pictures from just my front stoop.


So far it's only snow, no ice. So the vehicles aren't covered because the wind is blowing it right off. Hate to sound mean but I'll be glad when it's gone. Its dangerous and people around where I live don't know how to drive in it...that includes me. Maybe tomorrow when the sun is shining and I might be able to get out and get some snap shots I will find it in my heart to think it's pretty..but for now, I'm going to sulk in my nice warm house and pray for green grass again.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Show off your edits blog hop!

Here are my edits. I took this picture a few months ago and used the edited version as our Christmas cards. Check out more photo edits @ Pixel Perfect

Straight out of camera.

Edited version.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Happy 6 months!

Buggy is 6 months old today!! I can't believe how fast time is flying. Makes it so bittersweet, she is our last baby and it's just going so fast. Well, what can you do but just soak in these moments of baby goodness that we have left!

Can't help but love this adorable girl!


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Exhausted just thinking about it..

Mason will be turning 3 exactly one month from today.

I have done nothing towards potty training. He does have a few pair of underwear, and a potty of course.

This is something I really need to start working on. I'd love to give myself the goal of having him pee potty trained by his birthday, but I don't want to set limits because I don't want to be disappointed. My goal is to give him nothing but encouragement. I'm thinking maybe to do a sticker chart, Jere and I have decided not to do a reward system because I don't want him thinking he will get something every time he uses the potty, that system just doesn't work for us.

We have 2 major obstacles (major to me) standing in our way. 1.) He has a lifetime issue with difficulty pooping, this is something we will have to work around and be understanding with. That's why I said pee potty trained, because I think pooping will take quite a bit longer. 2.) His massive fear of public restrooms, while he is training we will limit our going out, but we can't stay home forever. I do have an extra potty that will will use in our van, but I'm just not sure how to get him over being scared of a public restroom.

Do you see...I'm just exhausted thinking about it, it's taken me close to a half an hour to type this short post out because I'm dreading this.

I'm going out tomorrow to get some more underwear and those plastic pants to put over them. Monday starts the training, we will take it slow at first, depending on how he is doing and step it up the closer we get to his birthday.

Wish us I'm going to take a nap =)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Taking advantage.

Today it was a mild 52 in our neck of the woods, so we took advantage of that fine weather to get in a little play time.

Mason is pretty interesting when it comes to spending time outdoors, while he does enjoy normal outdoor play equipment he is often times happier to walk and explore his surroundings. Making him an easy photo subject when we are outside, I often just let him walk and snap shots when he turns to tell me something. And although Kaylee was bundled up and in her carseat I ended up with some good ones of her too.

Please enjoy, I sure do!






Saturday, January 16, 2010

My son.

This boy. a.) doesn't have enough face time on this blog of mine..time to remedy that.
b.) is a lover of trains!


My Mom and I took the kids to a local museum who was putting on a train exhibit. Unfortunately, we went two days before it was due to end and a couple of the people who had their trains up took them down early. So we only got to see trains in cases (which Mason is not at all interested in) and one train that was actually running. He did spend close to 30 minutes just watching that train go around the track. Makes me wish for a bigger house so we could have a train up running all the time for him.

In his conductor hat.

At the train exhibit.

There is another exhibit coming up in February though that we are excited to take him to. And in June we plan to take him to Strasburg Railway to see Thomas and ride the trains! So exciting, I can't wait!


I want to start off by saying that I love my baby girl, and I always have.

But, it took me a long time to bond with her.

I had a rough pregnancy this time, in and out of the hospital for bleeding, followed by several ultrasounds to check on her. I stressed a lot about whether or not she was okay, and why I was bleeding (they never did figure it out). I thought all of this would make the bonding all that more easy, as I bonded instantly with my son. I honestly have no idea what went wrong in the beginning, but it started as soon as I saw a picture of her.

I had to have a repeat c-section so I didn't get to see her right away, as they were cleaning her up and doing apgar scores my husband was by her side taking pictures. When he brought me the camera I was shocked at how she looked. Not that I thought she was ugly, just different than what I had expected. I guess I expected her to look like Mason, and she looked nothing like he did as a newborn.


It took longer this time to put me back together, as I had a lot of scar tissue they were trying to deal with, and then I went into a recovery room, something I didn't do when I had Mason. While in the recovery room, I was asking if she was okay, and what her stats were. None of the nurses knew, I was beyond frustrated and wanted to get up to my room then to see my baby.

Finally, after almost an hour, the maternity nurses came to get me, they told me her stats: 8lbs 9oz and 22 inches. But they also explained that she was on oxygen and would need to stay on it for about 4 hours before she would be allowed to come to my room. I was allowed to be wheeled into the nursery to see her and hold her if she could tolerate it.


My first time holding Kaylee.

I did hold her and she did well, but something just didn't feel right, I don't know what my problem was and I still look back and think what an awful person I am. I loved her, please never think I didn't, it just wasn't that instant bond I had expected to feel. Maybe it was because I was very worried about her and every time a nurse/doctor stepped into our room it seemed like they never had good news for us.

First it was the oxygen, then one night the nurse came to check on her and said her nostrils were flaring..I guess not a good sign in infants, then she was loosing so much weight, then it was her jaundice levels were going up and up and then they found the murmurs. She was taking to breast feeding really well, but that all went out the window when she was dropping so much weight and with her jaundice levels rising, she had to take a bottle one night, after that I never could get her latched again.

They almost didn't let her go home with me because of the weight and jaundice. She was born at 8lbs 9oz and released at 7lbs 10oz, she had dropped nearly a pound.

Even though I hadn't particulary bonded with her, she was very attached to me. I was the only one who could soothe her or get her to sleep. I had a hard time in the beginning dealing with 2 kids, knowing how to split my time between the two. This all came to a head one night, Kaylee was close to two weeks old and I was still staying at my Moms (for help after my surgery, as my husband didn't have any time off), Mason had been acting weird and ended up throwing up that night, after that he was wheezing very badly, I wasn't sure if it was an allergic reaction or a full blown asthma attack (at that time he hadn't been diagnosed but it was obvious to both my husband and I that he had it). I had to rush to the ER with Mason, leaving Kaylee home with my Mom (it was the height of H1N1 and I didn't want Kaylee in an ER waiting room), by the time we go to the hospital Mason seemed fine (I had given him benedryl before leaving for the ER) but my Mom was texting me and saying Kaylee was inconsolable. I was so torn, leave the ER and risk something happening with Mason or stay and have Kaylee scream all night until we got home. We did end up leaving, but a triage nurse had evaluated Mason and said she heard no wheezing, then politely told us the wait could be another 2 hours, just to get a room, not be seen. We left and stopped home for his nebulizer, just in case and made an appointment with his ped the next morning. When we got back to my Mom's Kaylee was beside herself. That night I made the right choice, but would I know what to do if something like that happened again?? I still don't know.

After we got home it seemed like things just got worse for Kaylee and I. She threw up A LOT and had reflux. I'm not sure if that is what caused all the crying or what it was honestly. She ate every 3 hours but slept good at night, once I could actually get her to sleep. I was beyond exhausted by the time I got Mason to bed (we co-sleep) and it seemed every night was Kaylee's worst time. She would cry for hours before she would fall asleep, this wasn't colic, as at times she was consolable, certain ways I held her would work, but always different every night, if I gave her a bottle that always worked, even if she had eaten 10 minutes before that.

Many nights I just had to leave her in the room and walk away, usually into another room. We live in a two bedroom apartment, don't worry, she was always close at hand in her bassinet. I would just get so frustrated because nothing I did would soothe her and I was beyond the point of exhaustion and I just wanted sleep! It took her a good 3 months to grow out of this.

But I did slowly begin to bond with my beautiful girl, and every day I live with the guilt that it took me so long. That I had such a wonderful blessing in my arms everyday and I just didn't understand all the times I was missing. I put all the bad before any good. I will never have those days back, those hours and minutes I spent, wishing she would go to sleep so I could get a break.

Maybe that is why I try to over compensate now? Maybe that's why I won't move her to her crib, why I pull her in close and breath her in every night.

This is the first time I've ever let these thoughts out of my head, I've never even told my husband how I felt in those dark early days. I couldn't stand the thought of him thinking of me as a bad mother, that I didn't love her, for anyone to think that. My kids are my world, and I kick myself every day for not being able to recognize that from day 1.

Friday, January 15, 2010


This is my first 5 question Friday post. I liked the questions this week so I decided to participate!

1. Worst trouble you ever got into as a teenager?
I had a party with my then boyfriend while his parents were out of town. We were only 16 at the time but knew people that were over 21 who could get us alcohol. Too many people ended up drunk and my best friend who was only 4'9 drank an entire bottle of tequilla. Needless to say she was drunk off her @$$, and we had to call my ex's parents to come home in case we needed emergency care for her. Luckily, she woke up the next morning just fine.

2. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Definitely a night person. Luckily both of my kids go to bed pretty late and wake up at decent times in the morning!

3. Are you a one-handed or a two-handed Texter?
Two now that I have a phone with a full keyboard, but I used to only text with one hand, but I must say I much prefer two handing it!

4. Democrat, Republican, or Independent..or maybe even Green Party (whatever that is).
My voting card says Republican. I registered that way because my father told me if I didn't he would disown me =). I do find myself agreeing on more of their topics than not, but I won't vote only Republican. It all depends on the person and their beliefs and how I feel about them.

5. Are you a pet person?
Not a dog person at ALL. Ick. But I love cats. I would have tons of cats if a.) we didn't live in a non pet friendly apartment complex and b.) my husband wasn't allergic.

If you want to join the bandwagon for 5QF, then hop on over to Mama M's website. You can read others and link up yourself!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wordless Wednesday.

Well, two word Wednesday...Super Baby!



Sunday, January 10, 2010

Getting to know you!

I found this little fun game on Maura's website! Looked like fun so this week I'm going to jump in. Be sure to check her's out too!

1. If you were stranded on a desert island and could pick one person to be stranded with you..Who would you pick? Family members not included.
I guess I would go with that Jeff Corwin guy? He seems like he knows his way around the outside world..I'm not sure I could make it on my own and I definitely know my friends couldn't!!

2. Do you read celebrity gossip?
I like People magazine and occasionally visit their website too.

3. Favorite show you're watching this season?
I like a lot of shows, and watch a lot of shows. But I'm pretty excited about House coming back on!

4. How tall are you?
5 feet 3 inches.

5. What was the last book you read?
Just finished CandyLand by Candy Spelling..not really worth the time in my opinion. My current book is Dear John by Nicholas Sparks...hope I don't cry too much!

6. Flats or heels?
I'm a tennis shoe type of gal, I guess those are considered flat! If I was dressed up you might find me in a slight heel..but nothing too high, I would fall and break my ankle.

7. If you had to choose one natural disaster to go through, what would you choose..Earthquake, Tornado, or Hurricane?
Hurricane, I've already been through a couple..not that they were very strong by the time they reached my state. Too scared of the other two!

8. Thong, panties, or (gasp) granny panties?
*sigh* Granny panties. Unfortunately, after my c-sections (because I keloid scar) I can't wear anything that touches that scar. Hurts pretty bad, so gotta have them pretty high up..yikes.

Take two.

Well, we attempted green beans, they pretty much had the same fate as peas. I don't know what it is but she just isn't into eating like I thought she would be.

Today we are on to carrots in the hopes she will like those better.



It snowed in my part of the world Friday, and when I took a trip to the library I rode up next to a field covered with snow geese. It was so beautiful I had to go back home for my camera, my phone camera wouldn't have done it justice!



Today I have several things I would like to blog about. But this morning (or right now at least) I don't have the time, so I will leave you with those few pictures and try to blog some more tonight.

I want to post about some tutus I've made for Buggy that I LOVE! And also about how down I am feeling about Mason, he just doesn't seem like his usual happy self. That post might take me awhile, so that might come in the next few days. Hopefully I can get the tutu one up tonight, if I get some pictures taken of them.

For now? I'm off to meet my new niece Lila!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Day 2.

Day 2 of peas went no better than day 1. On to green beans tomorrow. I'll be sure to blog how that went.

For now I'm off to finish this tutu and wash cup lids!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

10 things that make me happy!

I was recently received an award (thanks Goldylocks !), with receiving it I now have to name 10 things that make me happy. I'm then supposed to pass it on to 10 people.

But considering I doubt 10 people read my blog, I will just throw an open invitation to anyone who reads my blog. Consider yourself nominated and the winner of this award!

10 things that make me happy??

1. My children

2. The Lord

3. My family

4. A clean house

5. Photography

6. New cameras!

7. Scrapbooking

8. The thought of fixing up our soon to be house!

9. Air conditioning

10. Nap time

It's hard to only pick 10, but I like to think of things like this, makes me realize just how many good things are in my life!

Start of the solids.

Kaylee had her 4 month check up on the Monday. She is a bit behind because of the doctor not being available, so she has been seen at 3, 5, and next 7 months. She will be able to catch up at 9 months though, when she isn't due for shots!

Stats on the little lady.

Weight: 16lbs 1oz
Height: 26 inches
Head: 16 3/4

She has gained 4 lbs in 2 months! I was so surprised, I remember when she was born and the 3 days we spent in the hospital she lost a pound and I was so worried about her weight and then at 3 months she was only 12 lbs, well I'm not worried anymore!

She is right on the money developmentally and we got the go ahead to start solids. Mason did excellent with all solids that we gave him, and he was never a big eater like her, so I was sure she would do good too. (also, the doctor let me know that DH and I make beautiful babies! I'm biased so it's always nice to hear other people say it!)

I was so excited to start her on foods that I rushed out to Walmart today and picked up peas and rice cereal. The doctor wanted us to mix her foods with a bit of cereal so she could get used to the texture.


All ready to try these peas!


This is NOT the face of a kid who likes their food =(


She actually looks like she might throw up in this next one. She didn't gag even though with her watery eyes it looks like she was. She did shiver in disgust a few times. Poor baby!


I did get a little smile with her last bite, I think she was thanking me for ending the torture.


Tomorrow we will try just peas without the rice cereal. Maybe the concoction was too thick, or maybe she is like her Mommy and HATES peas!

When I put the peas away, Mason came to me and said "All done Mommy?" I told him Buggy didn't seem to like the peas, to which he replied "She wants ice cream Mommy!"

LoL, gotta love that kid!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I miss you sleep.

Where did my angel go? The one that would fall asleep in my arms and stay that way all night?

She has been replaced (for the past 2 nights) with a monster. A deranged creature that screams for close to an hour at bedtime.

She doesn't want to be held or to be put down..kind of a predicament, as she hasn't yet learned to fly....

It's not even at the end of the hour that she has calmed herself down, nope, she has cried herself to sleep. It's like she is being tortured. I'm stumped, maybe teething, as she is 5 months and that is when Mason started teething.

I'm not sure...I just know I want the baby back that would smile lovingly up at me as I rocked her to sleep.

She truly has started the new year off with a bang.

*naps are the same way.*

Friday, January 1, 2010

Practice makes perfect.

I was just saying to my MIL* the other day that Kaylee is not as physically advanced as Mason was at her age.

*mother in law

I know, I know, you shouldn't compare your kids, but I do.

Mason was rolling from back to belly by 4 months, where it took her a bit longer, she was just a few days shy of 5 months. Although, she has been rolling from belly to back since she was a month old and that took Mason forever to accomplish! As soon as Mason learned to roll from back to belly he was army crawling and scooting to his toys, she prefers to just fuss at them from afar.

My main concern, and the reason for that conversation with the MIL, was the fact that she didn't seem to be interested in sitting up on her own. She wants to sit up, but if you put her in that position she usually arches her back and fusses. I was thinking that by 5 months she should at least be attempting tripod sitting. So I say to MIL that she doesn't and go to sit her up and what does she do?? Make me look like an idiot!

So since that conversation I've been working with her. We have a bumbo but that never seemed to help Mason, he preferred to be on the floor with his boppy wrapped around him and he sat perfect that way, so I tried that today, and what do you know. She's practically a pro!