Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Long time out.

Wow, I haven't posted since before Kaylee was a year old. She is now 17 months and Mason is almost 4. I just went and redesigned my blog, updated side bar pictures and I have hopes of getting back into blogging soon.

We are in our new house finally. That was a lot of hard work but 100% worth it, no matter the debt we are now in, we have a home and that's what's important.

2011 is going to be a different year for me. I've made resolutions every year since I was probably 16 but this year I am determined to make things different.

Well, I just pulled cupcakes out of the oven and that heavenly fresh cake scent is too much for me to resist.

Hope everyone had an excellent Christmas holiday!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Total Slacker.

Wow, today it's been one month since my last blog post. Totally skipped Kaylee's 10 month post and tomorrow she will be 11.

So much has been going on with the house remodel and the kids. Too much to go into right now, but just wanted anyone who might pop in and read this blog that I am still alive and plan some pretty big updates soon!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

My random thoughts.

It's been so long since I last posted.

Kaylee turns 10 months tomorrow. I'm in party planning mode. We did a generic happy first birthday party for Mason, and I regretted it. Now I want to do something special for Kaylee and that seems wrong to Mason some how. But I'm going ahead with my plans for her ladybug party. I've gotten a few cute ideas from the internet and also come up with my own. It's pretty exciting and is keeping me fairly busy. Just have to figure out where we are actually having the party. It's not looking like our house will be move in ready by then, next best option is my Mom's house, but I'm not sure my Dad and step-Mother would feel all that comfortable. The church that I attend is undergoing construction and also won't be available!

Behind me Mason is playing with about 100 empty cd holders, what a mess. Kaylee is playing with her ball popper and drum set.

I'm super excited for Sex and the City 2 next week! I'm obsessed with that show.

My allergies are crazy lately. Having to take my usual claritan and benedryl.

Ended up not being able to get before pictures of the house because the framer didn't tell me when he was coming and called one morning saying he was in the driveway..the next time I visited the floors were ripped up and new doors were already on.

We ordered tickets to see Thomas the Train today. So excited!

Going to try to get Kaylee's pictures taken tomorrow or Tuesday.

DH's company finally authorized his raise that was due in November, at least he gets retro active pay for that, and that's due to him on Wednesday!

Just recorded Mason dancing. Kaylee is fussing, what else is new!?

More on the house and Kaylee's monthly report soon!

Monday, May 3, 2010

9 Months.

I'm so late in posting this, Happy 9 Months baby girl!


This month you:

*Learned to crawl.


*Learn to pull to standing.

*Learned how to take your socks off.

*Still loves the blanket and pacifier.

*Sleeping in your crib all night.

*Now waking up several times over night to fuss and have a quick cuddle with Mommy before heading back to your crib.

*Saying Mama, Dada, and baba appropriately and will repeat if you say it to her.

*Started drinking from a cup.


*Goes from crawling to sitting and sitting to crawling.

*Had your first taste of ice cream.

*Loves to splash in bathtub.

*Still doesn't like hair or feet scrubbed.

*Prefers to be naked over anything else.

*Learned to pull hat and sunglasses off.

*Hates shoes.


*Moved up to a size 4 diaper.

*Still only has the 2 bottom teeth, but working on top ones.

*Still needs to be bounced to sleep.

*Fights naps.

*Wearing size 12-18 month clothes.

Not sure how much she weighs or her length, her 9 month check up isn't until June =( She will be 10 1/2 months already.

At her last appointment she was 19 lbs 9 oz and 27 1/2 inches long.


Thursday, April 29, 2010


I debated posting at all tonight, I'm not sure how this post will turn out. I'm having a bit of a pity party and I know that can be really annoying to read all the time, so that was your fair warning.

Also, I doubt this post will have photos in it, I'm all about pretty blogs and pretty pictures in those blogs, most blogs I don't read if they don't have pictures in theme. I know, what a way to choose blogs but I'm a picture junkie.

I'm beginning to feel like my nerves are shot, all this stuff with the house and dealing with the money aspect of fixing everything is wrecking havoc on my marriage and also my mothering.

I lose my patience way to easily, things make me mad at the drop of a toy (literally). I seriously want to have a day without raising my voice, at my spouse and my kids.

The house situation is looking grim. It's honestly embarrassing that my Mother-In-Law lived that way, and my husband grew up like that. It's like a hoarders episode. We completely cleaned out her house and filled up a huge construction dumpster in the process, of just trash, that doesn't include the things people came to take, the things she took and the 50 bags and boxes of donation I took.

When she offered us the house, she is still paying a mortgage we would just be taking that over for her, it's by no way free to us, we assumed it needed some cosmetic touch paint, new carpet. But as they started to clear and trash things the situation became very clear, she hasn't maintained this house at all. ALL the windows leak, ALL the doors leak, and they ALL have to be replaced. ALL the sinks, tubs, and toilets leak. Toilets have to be replaced along with vanities in the bathrooms. The majority of the floor boards have to be replaced, 3/4 of the walls have to be cut 18 inches up, insulation replaced, wall joists(?) repaired and sanded to get rid of mold. All the lower kitchen cabinets have to be ripped out because of so much water damage and the flooring under there replaced. And to make things extra fun, there has been so much water damage to the floor boards that it has soaked through and rotted the support beams under the house..all that has to be replaced. Just for that work alone, not included all the new carpeting, plumbing services, new cabinets and appliances, and mold repair people, we are looking at a minimum of 20,000 to a max of 50,000.

There has never been a flood in this home..the water damage is literally from years of sinks just dripping, of toilets leaking. Mold is in almost every room because of all the moisture.

It makes me sick thinking about all the work and money we would have to put into this home. Something that (in name) is not ours.

Then comes the issue of where do we get a loan that substantial..we own nothing, and have no collateral, so a personal loan is out and because the house is not ours in our name, we can't get home equity..we can't get any help unless from family.

Is it obvious I'm dead set against this house?? Well, my husband thinks this is doable, he is willing to put us into financial ruin for this. I've threatened to leave, nothing. I cry and beg and plead, nothing. I want to be numb to this whole situation but how can I be. We do nothing but fight and bicker about it constantly. But I can't stop I NEED him to see things from my perspective.

And tonight it was brought to my attention, when I was complaining because Mason and Kaylee have both been off for awhile, sleeping is bad, clinging constantly to me, I'm feeling suffocated honestly..anyway my Grandmother brought up a valid point and it really struck me hard..maybe they are acting out so much because things are so tense and bad between my husband and I. We live in a small two bedroom apartment and none of our doors close, so we argue and fight in our room, but it is hearable from any room in our house, with no way to block us out.

If I go back and think about when this started with them two, I can trace it to when things started to get really rough with DH and I. It's killing me inside tonight thinking about what I'm doing to them. Are they scared in their own little way? What have we done.

I remember nights when my parents would fight, how I would listen to my Mom cry and I would hate my Dad. I don't want that for my kids. How I would beg my Mom to divorce my Dad when I was in kindergarten until they actually divorced when I was in 10th grade. Is that what my kids are going to grow up with? I'm so ashamed of myself and my actions around them..and with them. How I react to that tension in negative ways towards them.

I want to be better, I want to see the light at the end of this tunnel, it's just such a dark time for me right now. But I will fight for them, because they are what matter most to me in this world, I will get over this and become the Mom I've always wanted to be (again).

And because my tears are beginning to dry and I can smile thinking of them I will put 2 pictures show what I'm fighting for. They are my everythings, and I'm so amazingly blessed by the Lord to have them in my life. They are the light at the end of my tunnel.


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Washington D.C. Zoo

Friday April 23rd we went to the Washington D.C. Zoo with my Mom, step-dad and my sister. There were definitely positive and negative aspects to our trip.

First negative..Mason hates to be woken up in the morning, even when he wakes on his own he is still a grouch..We wanted to leave in time to try to miss some traffic and also get to the zoo near or before it opened. He didn't want to pee on the potty or get his teeth brushed and when I demanded he do both he lost it. This is not something that regularly happens with him but in the morning anything is possible. After all that drama we were on our way and he cheered up once we picked everyone up and headed out.

Second negative..We stopped for breakfast at McD's and unfortunately I haven't quite recovered from a stomach virus I had a few weeks ago. So about half way to Washington we had to stop again because I got sick.

First positive..Kaylee did excellent the whole car ride there.

Second positive..the weather was gorgeous!!

Third negative..By the time we got there the parking lots were completely full! My step-dad let me and DH out with the kids while him and my Mom went to find on street parking.

Fourth negative..yikes that whole zoo is either uphill or downhill..and I'm totally out of shape, pushing that stroller with my chunky monkey kids I honestly at times didn't think I would be able to take another step!

Third positive..Mason loved the Gorilla house! Kaylee was just pretty much along for the ride and didn't care if she was out looking at animals or in the stroller playing with her piggies. I think Mason would have been happy to look at the Gorilla's all day or looking at the aquarium areas.

Fourth positive..He also loved the bird house! The animals we thought he would be really excited to see like the elephants, zebras, and the panda bear(!) he didn't really care about.

Fifth negative..they are doing a lot of construction right now, so quite a few exhibits are closed =(

Sixth negative..I was confused by their layout, I wasn't sure what or where to go next. So we ended up missing quite a bit.

Fifth's free!! Parking isn't but considering we had to park on the street it was for us..hah!

Seventh negative..we bought a 500 dollar stroller (a Phil & Ted's), yikes, that was really the first time we have used it, it looks cool..and rides smooth but the functionality just isn't there. No undercarriage space with a second kid in there and you can't hang bags on the bar because they would hit the second kid!

Sixth positive..the kids were excellent. We had no break downs from either child. Mason ended up having no nap that day and with having woken up early I was a bit nervous. Kaylee got a bit fussy when she got sleepy but that lasted maybe 5 minutes.

Eighth negative..we got majorly lost trying to get back on 50..yikes, we are country and not used to city driving. We ended up way downtown (at least I think it was downtown, lol) we got to see the Washington Monument at least, lol! We were using MapQuest directions from the zoo parking lot, which because we had to park on the street must have turned us around and we couldn't correct our mistake. Luckily I have a droid..and guess what DROID DOES..know directions LOL!

Seventh positive..I had a great day with my family, it's a rare occasion we can all get off work and do these things together. Thankful for that most of all.

We didn't get to see any of their big cats and Mason had most wanted to see the Lion, but we have two other zoo trips planned for this spring/summer, both of them have lions so hopefully we will see one before our summer fun ends!

Tons of pictures!

The entry to the zoo.


Gorilla House.


(a mommy and baby)







(my personal favorite animal we saw!)










(the four lanes)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

RAW(e) water.

So this week Sami over at Sailor & Company has decided the RAW(e) theme will be: water.

Rules are that you can't edit the picture in anyway..and that it has to be a picture of water (for this week). Have fun and head on over to her blog to check out others!

I'm not sure if this is really going with the theme or not. It's a picture of rain drops..which is water technically??


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Too much.

We went to the house today to pack some more things up so my step dad could go over and check some things out. He does that for a living.

I knew he would see more things than our untrained eye, I guess I was just naive about how much more he would see.

We have a serious mold issue, I assumed it was only in the one room, looks like all the walls that are related to anything water like are damaged. Also there could be major issues with our duct work/vents. Honestly, this house isn't that old but has not been well maintained and I'm not even sure anymore that it is worth it.

I need to call around tomorrow for a home inspector to come out, they can tell us more.

And to top everything off I have lost..yes LOST my lens for my camera, my 18-55mm. Just fracken great.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Sick, sick & sick (just for emphasis)

I've been sick with some kind of stomach virus for a week now. DH came down with it first and we thought maybe it was just something he ate. His lasted just over 24 hours, after about 12 hours of him having it, I too started feeling sick.

Mine lasted much longer than 24 hours but I think I'm on the mend. So far the kids have been unaffected. I hope it stays that way, it was no fun.

I'm never sure what to blog about. My life seems to be boring and unworthy of written words.

I guess I will start by talking about our house. I'm not sure if I have mentioned it on my blog before but we hope to be moved into our new home by June, August at the latest.

Unfortunately, this home needs a ton of work and we are very short on funds. Currently we are in the process of just cleaning it out. Next is to get in there and rip all the carpet and linoleum out. We are sure that there will be floor boards that need to be replaced so that will happen next. There are mold issues in the house right now, something that must be taken care of before I will move my kids into that house.

There is honestly so much to do, it's quite stressful to me. The things we have to do are going to cost close to a fortune. Luckily windows and doors are able to be used and still seem to be in decent condition..but everything else pretty much has to go.

DH is going tonight to hopefully finish cleaning it out (tomorrow it will be done at the latest) and I plan to go in and take before pictures.


We've been having decent weather around here so we've been outside quite a bit. I have some pictures that I need to size and I will be able to get those up. Mason got a new outside toy, a motorized John Deere Gator. He is obsessed with John Deere and loves his Gator! Also, Mason learned how to pedal a tricycle finally! I thought he would never get the concept, he still isn't all that good at it, needs to strengthen his leg muscles I guess.


Kaylee is currently teething (we think) and started crawling on April 14, 2010! She isn't very good at it yet, but hopefully with a bit more practice she will become a pro. The only thing she is interested in crawling for is her bottles. She is also pulling herself to her knees on lower objects, won't be long before she gets herself to her feet! Let the baby proofing begin!

I need to try to get better video because when she first learned and I was trying to tape her all she wanted to do was get that bottle and she wasn't fast enough so she just cried, it looked like I was torturing her!


It wouldn't let me add a full size video so just click the thumbnail and hopefully that will work, sorry!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Dear Kaylee.

I can't be everywhere you need me to be at the exact moment you want me to be there. I try but I'm not literally Super Mom.

*shoo* I am exhausted! This girl is into EVERYTHING! It's amazing for a kid that can't crawl everything she can get into without having that skill.

She is going through separation anxiety (something I don't remember with Mason). It's quite frustrating, she will roll to all kinds of things she isn't supposed to be into but refuses to budge to look for me when I walk away, instead she fusses. It's such a lovely stage. Mama wants her baby to start crawling!!

Love you little Buggy..dang you are so beautiful and a joy, but I need a nap!


Easter & Egg Hunt.

Yeah I promised these pictures like a week ago. I'm slacking.

I'm pretty bummed at the amount of pictures I wasn't able to get on Easter. The kids weren't being very cooperative about looking at my camera. The few times I could get Mason to look up I guess the sun was too bright because he has a pained look on his face in every one. And Kaylee just sat in my Mom's lap with the 3 eggs she picked up and played with them the whole time. Obviously, eggs are way cooler than Mommy!

My kiddo's get toys for Easter because Mason has food allergies and most candy you find is processed in plants or on machines that do nuts. Big no no around here. And well Kaylee is only 8 months, not quite sure she is ready for candy, ha!












"Maybe just one more Daddy?"